Purple Angel

I know that this has mostly been a personal journal for me but, I need to write about something that has been in the media for the past few years. A little girl, who loved the colour purple, her name was Tori Stafford. Her life was cut violently, tragically short.

 April 8, 2009, Tori was kidnapped from her school in Woodstock, Ontario. It was to be the first day she was to walk home by herself. She never made it home that day, nor will she ever again. Michael Rafferty and Terri-Lynne McClintic made sure she didn’t. They kidnapped her and did horrible things to her.

 I normally don’t pay much attention to news cases, especially about missing children, it’s just too painful when you have your have your own child. However, Tori’s case touched a nerve in me, a raw one at that. I’m not sure because it happened so close to home, that they passed through my town, or that Tori was almost the same age as my daughter but, I felt as if she could have been my own child.

 As of yesterday, the legal debacle has come to an end. Michael Rafferty was convicted of first degree murder, kidnapping, and sexual assault causing bodily harm. The jury was out for one full day in their deliberations. They did a commendable job, especially with what they had to view, and hear on a daily basis during the nine week trial.

 After the conclusion of the trial, the public learned yesterday about some very disturbing things that were found in the possession of Michael Rafferty. Unfortunately, due to a court ruling, they were not admissible at trial. He was found to be possession of child pornography, and videos of children being tortured. Just writing these words makes me sick. It’s not the first time.

 Rafferty found a willing accomplice in McClintic, and they took a little girl away from her family, the story of her last hours can be found in many articles online. It’s too graphic for me to post, I can’t read it again. I have it in my memory and that’s bad enough. I can only imagine the terror and fear that Tori felt in the last hours of her life.

 I wish we had the death penalty in Canada. I know that it would not bring Tori back but, at least we could feel safe knowing that scum of the earth like these two would be gone from the face of the earth forever. Canada needs stiffer laws to protect our children, and the public as a whole.

 It’s my personal belief that anyone caught with child pornography should receive an automatic life sentence, with no possibility of parole, ever. I have read of so many cases in the media where offenders are let out of prison, only to re-offend again, and again. Child molesters, people who distribute, make, and download child pornography, are sick individuals. If I had it my way, they would all be shot in the head, with no chance to re-offend.

 I wish there was something I could do to stop them.

 Rest in peace, Tori. I know you are a beautiful angel.  

Beyonce Saved Me. No, not THAT Beyonce.

WARNING:  EXPLICIT LANGUAGE.

Beyonce saved me. Not THAT Beyonce. Beyonce, the big metal chicken. She is a creation of Jenny the Bloggess, and is the reason that I am able to be a part of the world today. I forget how I found her blog, but I will always remember how it made me re-consider leaving this world.

Back when things were normal, Jenny Lawson wrote a post called “And That’s Why You Should Learn to Pick Your Battles”. It was written last June. In December of 2012, I was in a bad place mentally, like considering how to end my life bad place, and I needed to laugh. I needed to laugh like a diabetic needs insulin.

I went back to the post, which I had done many times, and I read it. I started laughing. And laughing, at first it was that hysterical type of laughter. Then it was, hey this shit is funny! Then it was, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Then it was fuck you, PTSD. I am going to do this, and I am going to SPIT IN YOUR FACE WHILE I DO IT!!!

Her blog is full of real life shit. Not all unicorns and rainbows, and la di da. It’s Jenny’s life, and how she has struggled with depression, and other mental issues. She made me feel it was ok to be me. It’s ok to be broken. She’s also funny as fuck, and you should totally check her out. If you haven’t heard of her, I need to ask what damn rock you live under and how big it is.

Back to me and Beyonce, I felt like I could actually learn how to do life again. Be a person who gets up in the morning, ready for whatever is going to happen. Beyonce helped me see that I can be a person who is broken and afraid, and it’s ok. I am not sure where the premise that everyone needs to be perfect came from but we need to get rid of that bullshit.

Life is what you are, it’s who you are. Whether you are broken, mental, disabled, different, or just plain off your rocker. People with different views on life are what make life interesting, and if we all liked Coke, who would we have to argue with about Coke and Pepsi (which is vile pond scum, by the way).

Right now, some people may think that my life is a shambles of what it used to be, and the way I see it, it can only get better from here. I am going to push myself to be a better me, and enjoy my life, whatever comes my way. It can certainly be worse, and it has been. I always make it back from the brink

Disclaimer:  I am not in any way affiliated with The Bloggess, I  just think that she is a great, fearless, amazing person.