I have noticed that a lot of the blogs on WordPress tend to focus on one area, or subject. Since this is more of an online journal for me, my posts probably will be all over the place. My life is more than just PTSD, and being afraid. Many important people, places and things, make up my life. I want to write about them all, someday.
Sometimes I may post every day for a week, or not at all for two or three days. I suppose it all depends on what I want to write, or how I want to express myself. I think that for today, I will focus on my journey with food, weight loss, and how it has shaped my life.
I have been overweight for as long as I can remember, and there is only one photo of me from when I was younger that I have seen that shows me at a normal weight. At this point in my life, I have determined that I am meant to be the size I am, no smaller, no bigger. The only time in my life that I have lost a significant amount of weight on my own is when I had a stomach flu last year, and could not eat anything, or keep down anything but gingerale for two weeks.
I love food. I love the way it tastes, smells, feels, and some foods just make you have a “foodgasm”. There are many options I have considered, I have even considered weight loss surgery but have decided against it for now. A family member of mine just had the surgery, and she is now regretting it. I can finally admit that I am addicted to food. I am a food addict.
Food addiction is different from many other addictions in that, you can stop drinking, and avoid it, or stop drugs, and avoid them. You can’t avoid food. It is required to sustain life. Making the right choice is always difficult, and the temptation is always there. I am also an emotional eater but that is another post.
Finding exercises that I can do is difficult right now, with my injury. My knee is very unstable so many exercises can cause me to tip over, or my knee to give away. I do walk every day, and try to make good choices but I know that I can be doing better. I want to try Aquafit, it’s supposed to be really good for people who have issues with doing high impact exercises
I know that most blogs, have a focus, or a topic that they tend to focus on. Right now, I am trying to find my focus, and really, it’s my blog, and if I want to write about unicorns and their poop, that’s my choice. I’m not here to gain readership, I’m here to tell a story, and it doesn’t matter to me if anyone reads it.